I was awakened with a deep pain on my third molar (wisdom tooth). It was excruciating. The pain was throbbing on my left ear, and head. I sent Doc Jing an SMS, and paracetamol lang ang pina-go niya (as if hindi ko pa alam ma yun lang ang pain reliever na pwede). She was suspecting that due to my hormonal imbalances / changes, kaya nagkaganun yung tooth. If dentist prescribes an antibiotic, make sire it is either Amoxicillin or Cefalexin only. Nabasa na din ni doc yung isip ni Dr. Medrano, my dentist. If the dentist decides to extract the tooth daw, let her know first, so I can obtain a clearance.
I didn’t get to eat the whole day, and my face got so swollen, too.
Yep, I have an abscessed tooth. Surprise! Dahil nga sa hormones. Dr. Joy Medrano (the daughter-in-law, the wife of my husband’s friend JV Medrano), was very happy when she found out. I met her four years ago, and she knows very well then that we all want to have another child. Kasi pati si Enzo yun na yung nga wish.
So she prescribed Cefalexin and Paracetamol.
That night, I had another breakdown. My tooth was aching bad, I was hungry, and I was unstable. It was almost midnight. I just went out of the room and cried so hard. I do not understand how can a baby survive inside of me when I can not provide the nutrients he needs. I wanted to eat badly, but any flinch would cause a lot of pain. Sobrang hirap. I was already having an LBM because I only eat yoghurt and papaya. Again, I slept crying.
October 8 Part Two
Okay. Going back duon sa discussion namin ni Doc Jing.
I want to be honest. I already came to the point of wanting my pregnancy to end kasi hirap na hirap na ako. I only stay at home, lie down, eat, lie down again. I only get to go out of the house when I will be brought to the hospital. I am sick all the time. I don’t remember having cravings. I was only asleep, when I am awake, I am sick. I was asking Niño to check if I’m having bed sores na.
I was an invalid. I stopped accompanying Enzo to school in the morning. I can not even cook and prepare for Enzo’s baon. People has to come in our room to talk and to see me. I felt useless. My medicines weren’t cheap, so as the hospital expenses.
I was bargaining with the Lord, if the pregnancy is not really for me, then please spare the little child from all the suffering. I was willing to take all the emotional pain, and the judgment that I’ll get from others. I was willing to emotionally torture myself. I also asked the Lord to spare Ate Enzo of the suffering, if the the time comes that mommy and daddy has to leave them.
Pero Doc Jing was right. I, as a mother, still wants to be somehow relieved knowing that I did everything I can, to make the pregnancy work. She prescribed me with another ‘pampakapit’, and increased the doses of my existing maintenance medicines.
We went home emotionally tired.
Our day started early. At around 9AM, I just finished taking a bath, when blood flowed down my legs (1. Yep, laging nangyayari kapag nakaligo / paligo na ako, 2. Yup, parang sa pelikula).
I cried / shouted / panicked. Tita Eva brought Enzo to my inlaws’ house, while husband freaked out. I immediately lied down, husband took a micro-second long bath, while Tita Eva helped me dress up. I was in contact with Dra. Fernandez on our way to the hospital. We were in SLMC GC in no time.
After few minutes, I was immediately wheeled to the OB Complex at the second floor. I was staring at the lights on the ceiling and counted them to calm myself. I counted 89. I didnot allow Niño to come with me, enough na ngang ako lang ang pasyente. Nakakahilo pala ang gumalaw ng nakahiga tapos sasakay ng elevator tapos may pahinto-hinto! Pramis.
At the OB complex, I was brought in to the admission room. I was asked if I have a companion, so wala akong choice but to ask Niño to come with me. Di ko na maalala yung name ng attending physician ko there. Everything was a blur.
When Niño arrived, he was the one who told me that I will be brought to the Women’s Health Center for an ultrasound. I gripped Niño’s hand, and started crying again.
My ultrasound results showed that my little one was still there. Heartbeat dropped to 70 beats per minute (from 76). Subchorionic hemorrhage was getting worse.
I was wheeled back to the OB complex, pero sa High Risk Pregnancy Unit na. Nakakakaba, promise!
I discussed the possibilities with my OB. Again, dun sya sa good pregnancy. I asked the possibility of having a ‘special child’ when the time comes due to all the infection and the complications of my pregnancy, early on. I already knew the answer. I know Doc Jing will not vouch for anything. The Congenital Anomaly Scan can be done on my fifth month (if we progress) pa.
So we had to make a decision. That’s for my next post. Naiiyak nanaman ako, eh! 😔
I had a follow up check-up with Dra. Fernandez. I, again, had to undergo ultrasound. My hopes were so high. I arrived at SLMC GC Women’s Health Center at 1PMish. I was third on the line for ultrasound.
My sonologist was Dra. Sandee Go. She’s a lot nicer than my previous sonologist. She was very reassuring. There’s calmness in her touch. Her voice was soothing. Para syang angel. Lalo na nu’ng in-announce niya na, na may fetal pole na! Aaaaaaaaaand, MAY HEARTBEAT NA YUNG BABY KOOOOOO!!!!
Parang naka cue, my tears started falling down my cheeks. Very mahinahong yehey lang yata nasabi ko. Then Doc Sandee told me that my baby’s heartbeat was low for the age. Baby only gave us 76 beats per minute, normal is 100. Subchorionic hemmorhage was also noted – the surrounding uterine tissues of my baby were already detaching and preparing to be expelled. But hello, little pea was there! Nagpasikat pa nga with the heartbeat!
Dra. Fernandez was so amazed of my baby’s will to live. Baby was diagnosed with PHYSIOLOGIC FETAL BRADYCARDIA. I can not imagine how happy I was that very moment. I can not count the times I cried.
I wanted to tell the world that the baby inside of me is a fighter. I wanted to inform everyone, ASAP. But I had to hold on. Akin na lang muna, amin na lang muna. My childhood bestfriend was so happy for me, bakit waley pa daw FB post! Hehe. Sabi ko, lemme protect my little warrior muna, kasi not everyone will understand what I am going through.
I had a follow up check up with Dra. Fernandez. She wanted to make sure my sore eyes and flu have been resolved. Husband was with me.
My consecutive ultrasound results showed ONLY gestational sac and yolk sac, no embryo, no heartbeat. My last menstrual period was on August 8, so this day should mark my 7th week of pregnancy.
Sabi sa babycenter.com, a 7th weeker should already have these characteristics. In my case, nada, none, wit, wiz, wah, nothing, wala, waley.
My ultrasound also only shows a 5 weeker sac.
Sabi sa Maternal amd Child Nursing ko dati, may condition na tinatawag na ANEMBRYONIC GESTATION and BLIGHTED OVUM.
In a normal pregnancy, an egg cell is penetrated by a sperm cell, and after 72 hours, it already starts to divide and grow, and implanted in the uterus, and then grows into a wonderful human being.
In anembryonic gestation and blighted ovum, the egg is penetrated by a sperm, and gets implanted into the uterus. It missed the process of dividing and growing. Atatchina lang, ganon. But since it was implanted in the uterus, the body will recognize it as pregnancy. All the pregnancy signs and symptoms will manifest.
Some anembryonic gestation becomes lucky, because the ovum develops, and (as my OB calls it), becomes a good pregnancy, which accounts a very small percentage. In majority of cases, the body will recognize the ‘abnormal growth’ happening inside the womb, and as a natural defense, will be expelled naturally, that some women won’t even find out they were pregnant.
That could have been easy, no? If I wasn’t aware. Pero no, eh. I already knew that I was pregnant. I was already expecting, tapos wala naman pala, ang sakit. So I was hoping and praying for a miracle. I asked for a heartbeat.
This day, Dra. Fernandez explained all of these to me. I don’t remember saying anything, I was crying all the time. Parang I have not cried that hard for a long time. Pero it was a silent cry, lam mo yun. Both my OB and I were both hoping for a miracle. We agreed to wait for one more week, for pregnancy viability.
Grabe my emotions. As in I can not explain. I was sad, and scared, and hopeful. My husband knows that I hate being touched kapag malungkot ako, but today is different. I cried for 30 full minutes sa shoulders niya. Non-stop. Walang salita.
Unlike other preggers, hindi ako maka-enjoy.