Ten Years Ago


Ang bilis ng panahon no? Patapos na ulit ang May! Tapos June na, kalahati na ulit ang 2016! That fast! Can’t help but think of what happened in my younger years. 

Let’s go back ten years ago…

I was twenty years old. Just earned my degree and my PRC license. Landed my first job a month after I’ve taken my oath. 

Having a first taste of my salary, I was very carefree. Though I still contribute in the household expense, nagsawa naman ako sa lakwatsa. Tambay dito, tambay doon. Inom ng umaga after ng shift, inom bago mag shift. Travel sa Batangas. Travel sa Laguna. Travel ng Norte. Bili ng sapatos. Bili ng bag. Waldas ng salapi. Gimik sa Makati. Umagahan sa Libis. Overnight sa Cavite, diretso ng Quezon City. 

I was very different then. Away ng ex, iyak dahil sa boyfriend, cool off sa boyfriend, hiwalay sa boyfriend, makipagbalikan sa boyfriend. Mawalan ng kaibigan, mag gain ng bagong kaibigan. 

Pinagsawaan ko lahat dati. Nag-enjoy ako ng bongga nu’ng dalaga. As in dalagang-dalaga. Uuwi kapag gusto na, aalis kapag gusto na. Walang batas. 

Naranasan kong gumimik na hindi ko alam kung paano ako uuwi dahil yung mga kasama ko inuwi na ng mga nakainuman namin. Nakakita ako ng actual pot session. Nakatikim ng kahit na anong klase ng alak. Naghirap sa mga hangover. Pero I swear, drugs ang hindi ko naranasan. I know I have to say no. Alam kong ikamamatay ko yon. 

During those times I only worried about heartaches. Puro love issues. Nambabaeng ex, nambubugbog na ex, selosong ex, praning na ex. Yung akala ko di na ako makakarecover sa sakit. Yung lahat ng marinig kong kantang malungkot, kala ko sinulat para saken. Yung mga pinuntahan naming lugar, iiwasan ko. Yung mga common friends, titigilan ko. 

Pero ladies, kelangan natin pagdaanan yung pain, eh. We have to be broken so we could be whole again. We have to let those people hurt us. We have to let them leave a scar and a space or void in our hearts so when the right one comes along, he’ll have all the space he deserve. 

Fast forward to my 30 year old self. Ngayon, iba na. I am not ashamed of what I went through to be the woman I am today. The tears, heartaches, pain, all constitute the laughter and love I have. I know the feeling of being hurt kaya as much as possible, I do not want to hurt anybody, not my husband, not my daughter. 

Yan siguro yung isa sa greatest learning in life na ma-i-she-share ko kay Enzo. She’ll get hurt, and she’ll hurt others, too. 😌

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s