Grabe, if you’re one if my FB friend, you know I have shared TMI this month. May is super full packed for me. Full packed in the sense na ang daming kailangang i-cater ng puso, tsaka isip kong thoughts and emotions. 

It all started in 2009. Yep. Seven years ago.

My Pagudpud trip (with the you know whos) for 5 days happened in May. I saw Papa on his wheel not knowing that it would be the last, on our way to Manila. I didn’t get to greet him. 

My childhood bestfriend’s birthday is May 10.

Papa last went home on May 16, I wasn’t home yet. He was already asleep when I arrived, and I was still sleeping when he left.

Papa’s birthday is May 21. We only called him that day kasi he was on a trip – still working.

Niño and I became a couple on the 24th. 

We were barely a day old when Papa died. 

On the same year, my brother entered college. 

Everything was a first after Papa died.
My sister’s birthday, my nephew’s, my birthday, Christmas and New Year. 

It was our first All Saint’s Day. All our lives, we’re either at home or in Abra to pay respect to our departed loved ones.

We were in pain. So much pain. I kept on praying for strength and understanding. Strength for our family, and understanding so I can digest, accept and fully understand why painful things happen. 

In 2010, a year after Papa’s death, Lord heard all my pleas. I was due to give birth on June 23. I was already in bed rest as early as April. I still kept on praying. I was secretly hoping that I give birth on Papa’s birthday. But the heavens have a different plan.

On May 29, husband and I went to Dra. Lee for the usual pre-natal check up. I wasn’t allowed to go home anymore. I was 5cm dilated, engaged at grade 0. After 19 hours of labor, 12 minutes inside the delivery room, 6 steroid shots and Isoxilan IV, I gave birth via NSD to a 33 week-old survivor. Enzo wasn’t placed in an incubator. 

Seven years after, I realized one thing. I am blessed. I am favored. I have been praying hard so God will take away the pain I still feel for losing my father. I still cry because it pains to think of the what could have beens, what should have beens. It still hurts me. 

Pero nasagot na pala matagal na yung prayers ko. My May could have been filled with sappy memories, pero hindi pinayagan ni Lord na maging ganon forever. He gave me a reason to be very happy and thankful before the month ends. He saved the best for last! 

Thank You, Lord, for everything! 

Happy 6th Birthday, Enzo! Mom and dad love you forever and ever!


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