Parents, Heads Up!


Enzo made sumbong about classmate L (again!!!). Lemme list everything:

1. L gets her crayons and takes it home
2. When asked to give the crayons back, L gets mad
3. L pulls Enzo’s baon, opens it the baralbal way (Enzo follows the tear here mark)
4. L rocks Enzo’s chair everytime she’s about to sit down
5. L pushes Enzo’s bag away from her and laughs like a villain when confronted
6. L does not copy notes written on the board, but copies Enzo’s notes, instead

Kakainit ng ulo! L already has a history with us, ha!

So yesterday, I took the chance to talk to Enzo’s teachers after the card distribution. Pagkasabi ko pa lang na may sumbong si Enzo, they know who I’m talking about na. They’ve been hearing complaints na daw since that morning.

Apparently, L’s parents are currently in the process of annulment. The child is in the custody of her lola, who’s old na din, with a yaya.

The directress (90 y/o na siya!), explained that L is craving for all the attention. Yun yung effect of seeing her parents quarrel, lose temper, shouting and arguing. Sad.

I felt sad for the kid. Pretty pa naman siya. I checked my old photos of Enzo’s top 10 in class of the previous years, andun pa si L. But not this quarter. Affected pati studies ng bata.

I hope parents will consider the kids, always. I’m not saying that should stay together inspite and despite of. It’s the 21st century. What used to be the practice or norms in 1920s may not apply to the practice or norms of today.

What I’m saying is, parents should spare their kids of the emotional roller coaster of their immaturities. Yep. No fighting infront of the kids. My husband and I do that. We fight outside the house, away from Enzo, away from everyone else’s attention that even the yaya can hear.

Dati, we do the ping pong fight. Yung, “tell daddy blah blah”, and “tell mommy blah blah” kahit magkalapit kami and naririnig namin yung isa’t-isa because we do not want to talk. Because Enzo’s bright, she once asked us if why don’t we talk eh magkalapit lang kami. We never did that again.
Next, should parents really need to part ways, do it quietly. I mean, no backstabbing. Walang siraan. Baka naman pwedeng i-build up pa din yung other party ng very neutral. Kids won’t understand it yet, pero atleast mas madaling ipaintindi pagdating ng future.
Last, magkahiwalay man ng tuluyan, and mawala yung love, baka pwedeng i-keep yung respect, tsaka yung common goal na palakihin yung bata together. Baka pwedeng enough ng hindi sila nag work as a couple, pero baka pwedeng mag work as parents.
Kawawa the kids. Matatalino na sila. We can not just offer them a candy and walk away. They, as much as we dislike it, will ask why until they want.

I’ve friends who remained friends or civil with their estranged partners, it was hard daw, but it works. I’ve friends who aren’t in good terms din with their ex-wife or husbands, and it’s hard din, especially the financial part.

My sister, Irish na lang eh. She’s a single parent of two adorable kiddos, Rai and Bella. Mahirap on our part, we have no contact with their father, no support, no nothing, naaaah, nadah, wiz, wah, zero! Pero that helped us na mabawasan yung mga dapat i-explain sa mga bata. They know why they have no one to call papa, bakit Mama Is lang.

Going back to Enzo, the directress made bawi na kaya daw deadma siya sa ‘bullying’ kasi she’s full of love – received and ready to share. Enzo’s aware na L is just one nega person in her life, and pag-uwi niya, she’s got her yaya, grandparents, aunts, uncle, and her parents.

I pray na sana huwag namin pagdaanan ni Niño yun. As much as possible, sana kayanin namin to hold on to our wedding vows. I know, it’s a hard work, pero sana huwag kaming mapagod trabahuhin yun, together.
For now, enjoyin muna namin tong moment na’to. Magliligawan pa din kami, maglalandian, maghaharutan, magkakapikunan, magbabati, magtatawanan.

Kaya namin to!

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