Ayoko Na Sa Iyo, Hindi Na Kita Love!


I had a very heart-breaking moment with Enzo last night.

We’ve been having issues with her constipation for almost month now.

My rule is, if she has not pooped for almost 48 hours, I have to insert her a suppository.

It could really be traumatic.

But I have no choice.

So, Sunday morning was her last poop.

Monday and Tuesday the whole day, she did not, again.

After all our efforts – papaya, prune, pears, watermelon, water, tummy massage, drawing of the intestines, Duphalac, yakult, yogurt, pineapple juice, NO POOP!

She was already begging me not to insert suppository.

But I wish I can give in.

After one million nos and cries, we were done.

She was crying when she told me these:

“Ayoko na sa’yo!”

“Hindi na kita love!”

“Lagi ka nalang nagagalit kapag hindi ko nalabas pupu ko, eh ayaw nga lumabas!”

“Ayaw na kita makita tomorrow!”

“Lagot ka sa akin!”

I cried.

I cried with her.

Harder than her.

I tried touching while pacifying her, and she said, “Huwag mo ako to-touch! Ayoko touch mo ako! Never again!”

Shet.

It was so painful, that I really cried.

I can take all kinds of rejection, but not this kind.

My heart was shattered into many millions and billions and gazillions!

Grabe, I dunno if papatulan ko sya, or hahayaan ko lang.

I was begging my husband to help me convince my daughter not to feel that way.

He told me that I just let her.

It was just a melt down daw, and she doesn’t really mean to hurt my feelings.

Pero goodness!

Ang sakit talaga eh!

When she was about to poop (meaning gumana na yung suppository), she cried / shout / cried,

“Mommy, hold mo yung hands ko, bati na tayo! Sorrryyyyyyyyy!!!!”

Hay.

I was really crying hard.

Then she started hugging me, saying sorry, and saying I love you.

I also did the same.

I told her that I don’t want to leave her, ever.

Sobrang sakit!

She slept hugging me, and I, hugging her.

We were okay now.

We talked before I brought her to school.

I called her before I had my lunch.

I called her before I made this entry.

Hay.

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