I had a very heart-breaking moment with Enzo last night.
We’ve been having issues with her constipation for almost month now.
My rule is, if she has not pooped for almost 48 hours, I have to insert her a suppository.
It could really be traumatic.
But I have no choice.
So, Sunday morning was her last poop.
Monday and Tuesday the whole day, she did not, again.
After all our efforts – papaya, prune, pears, watermelon, water, tummy massage, drawing of the intestines, Duphalac, yakult, yogurt, pineapple juice, NO POOP!
She was already begging me not to insert suppository.
But I wish I can give in.
After one million nos and cries, we were done.
She was crying when she told me these:
“Ayoko na sa’yo!”
“Hindi na kita love!”
“Lagi ka nalang nagagalit kapag hindi ko nalabas pupu ko, eh ayaw nga lumabas!”
“Ayaw na kita makita tomorrow!”
“Lagot ka sa akin!”
I cried with her.
Harder than her.
I tried touching while pacifying her, and she said, “Huwag mo ako to-touch! Ayoko touch mo ako! Never again!”
It was so painful, that I really cried.
I can take all kinds of rejection, but not this kind.
My heart was shattered into many millions and billions and gazillions!
Grabe, I dunno if papatulan ko sya, or hahayaan ko lang.
I was begging my husband to help me convince my daughter not to feel that way.
He told me that I just let her.
It was just a melt down daw, and she doesn’t really mean to hurt my feelings.
Ang sakit talaga eh!
When she was about to poop (meaning gumana na yung suppository), she cried / shout / cried,
“Mommy, hold mo yung hands ko, bati na tayo! Sorrryyyyyyyyy!!!!”
I was really crying hard.
Then she started hugging me, saying sorry, and saying I love you.
I also did the same.
I told her that I don’t want to leave her, ever.
She slept hugging me, and I, hugging her.
We were okay now.
We talked before I brought her to school.
I called her before I had my lunch.
I called her before I made this entry.