Fourth Twenty Eight


28 January 2014

Daddy,

Happy Fourth Wedding Anniversary!

To say that I love you doesn’t really begin to explain my feelings for you. Our love has grown deeper with each passing year. When we got married four years ago, we were young and in love. We didn’t know what the future would hold, but we were excited and confident that whatever it was, we would do it together. And we have! But it hasn’t always been easy. When I think back of our wedding day I think about how full of hope and love and excitement we were. I think of how we envisioned our lives–and there was nothing hard about it! We were so naive! We had no idea!

What I love most about you is how grounded you are. That in the midst of turmoil in our lives, I can lean on you and feel comfort and safety in your arms. You are my rock, you are my safe place. I can trust you with my life, the life of Enzo and our future children, my crazy feelings, my fears, my dreams.


As I look back over the past four years (can you believe it’s already been four years?!) I smile over the joys we’ve experienced and tears swell up as I think of the hard times. But it’s been a beautiful life. I like to think that the joys we experience are made that much sweeter by the difficulties we’ve faced. We’ve been through so much together —  adopted & trying to train a pet, gone through work, endured countless hospitalizations, procedures and appointments,  supported each other’s   families, gone through pre-nursery  and now nursery with our adorable kid, worried about basically everything, met and made new friends, new enemies, loved and cared for our child in each stage of her  life  so far, dealt with unemployment and we’ve grown in our faith individually, as a couple and as a family. I’d like to say that we always did it perfectly, but that wouldn’t be true. But we have always approached each situation together, as a team.

 

As we embark the next years together, I will do my best to let you know what’s happening with me. I wouldn’t keep secrets from you. I wouldn’t sway you away from whoever sends me SMS or calls or emails thinking that you might misunderstand, or thinking that you might get mad and disappointed. That for me is cheating. I’ll devote my attention to you, to Enzo, our family and my career.

In these modern times where broken families are nothing but normal, I am fervently praying that we do not undergo the same. I cannot imagine (nor do I ever want to) having to deal with infidelities or broken families, I am not sure if our marriage can survive it. But when it comes down to it, it might just be a question of whether love really conquers all.

Forgive me for the times when I must have been patient; when I’ve snapped at you or gotten frustrated.

Forgive me for when I have not been kind; when my tongue had been quicker than my heart and my mind.

Forgive me for those times when I celebrate my victories over you; when I proudly say “I’m always right!” and forget to be humble.

 Forgive me for those times when I’ve been rude, for the many times when I’ve been selfish, when I sought love instead of offering it.

 When you stop making me laugh tomorrow, I will still love you.

When you stop being an awesome dad, I will still love you.

When you stop caring for your family, for our family, for my family, I will still love you.

When you stop being caring, and supportive and caring and loving, I WILL STILL LOVE YOU.

 Because that’s just it – because there is no because apart from this: I LOVE YOU BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO; BECAUSE I SEE THE SPECIAL PERSON THAT THE GOOD HEAVENS HAS GIVEN ME, A FRIEND THAT I CAN ANNOY AND CAN ANNOY ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIVE.

 Today, on our fourth anniversary I realize that we are once again completely unaware of what the next four years may hold. But as we continue to walk down that road I know that we will be together and you will be right there holding my hand as we walk through the valleys and reach the beautiful mountain tops. And I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.

 In faith and in fate,

 Karen

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