dealing with ‘his’ relatives who hate you (a repost from my fb account)

an answer to a friend’s lengthy email:


relatives of your husband who dislike you are not worth the hassle of dealing with them. if you really love your husband, you should lead these annoying relatives to an ultimatum: either they accept you for who you are or you can avoid them as the plague. truth is, if they really love and care for you, they would ultimately close a blind eye on your relationship and act RESPECTFULLY.


there are many reasons why relatives may dislike you. in some cases, it could be beliefs, religious or political outlook, lifestyle, looks or they simply wanted to annoy every inch of you.


some relatives may not accept the fact that your husband chose you over a long time ex flame. they may hate you because you’re less prettier, less smarter, or you can’t lavish them with gifts – the way they’ve used to have.


unfortunately, they’ve got no choice. whichever the issue, i think it can be solved in two ways: either closing the doors or opening them. if you decide to close the doors you may let them clearly know the reason why you will not want to see them again. you should not have a problem in saying so, after all, they have no trouble in clearly expressing and showing their feelings of dislike-_ directly or indirectly.


if you decide to keep the doors open, talk clearly to your husband’s relatives explaining they mustRESPECT your husband’s choice and that there will be no space for negative feelings.


many times, the reason why some relatives dislike a new in law, is because they tend to stereotype. one cure lies often in simply letting them get to know you better. prepare the ground for a forced conversation (ugh!) where all the qualities will come out.


truth is, if they really care for your husband, there should be no room for issues like this. they’ve to respect your husband’s choice and try to overcome the adversity. they may really ultimately come to a point where they may honestly begin to accept you, or for sake of peace they may pretend to do so.


whichever the outcome, the most important factor is that they will not show any negative feelings, or show a feeling of dislike in whatever means in front of you and your spouse, and that THEY WILL NO LONGER INTERFERE WITH THE FLOW OF YOUR MARRIAGE.


there. i find my answer nice eh, so why not share it to others, di ba? 🙂



2 thoughts on “dealing with ‘his’ relatives who hate you (a repost from my fb account)

  1. Thank God I did not experience this. My husband’s relatives are all superb. I didn’t even need to adjust. 🙂

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